lionessoftorment

by day 3 I was used to waking up at dawn for pricks by needles and "shh, sweetie, go back to sleep." leaving gauze question marks on forarms. by day 4 I walked the parimeter of the ward 17 times trying to breathe and pretend I was somewhere else by day 5 we talked about leaving and diagnoses and "if she starts again..." by day 6 I had forgotten what I looked like when I got there "the new pills are doing wonders for my self-esteem" by day 7 I lied my way out just to do it again next week.

My guitar strings are broken. The chords sound the same as they did yesterday…dirty and swollen and sorry and full of regret that I can't promise that you'll accept and empty promises swim through the fibers in the carpet because they heard you lie to me…my failures are lying on my floor where everything happened, I can prove it, I left the glass where it landed for years.  He's there to save me now but he's kind of away and I know that but his wrists are too strong to bleed and I'm hoping he'll have that effect on me and I know that I love him…I loved you. . .and I know that I'm breaking slowly but I refuse.  This is the only time I will ev

by day 3 I was used to waking up at dawn for pricks by needles and "shh, sweetie, go back to sleep." leaving gauze question marks on forarms. by day 4 I walked the parimeter of the ward 17 times trying to breathe and pretend I was somewhere else by day 5 we talked about leaving and diagnoses and "if she starts again..." by day 6 I had forgotten what I looked like when I got there "the new pills are doing wonders for my self-esteem" by day 7 I lied my way out just to do it again next week.